All of my friends knew and my family didn’t know at the time, and everybody had just been so supportive and so loving that I was like, "Ah, f--- it -- I need to be fully free, and my parents need to know." I was just so happy to be with this person and really just wanted to share that with everybody and have my family on board, but I just didn’t know how to verbalize it in person.
I remember driving off, and I’d kissed my mom goodbye and I was like, “Hey, I left you something under your pillow and I would really like for you to read it,” and she was all excited.
I just remember sitting in the back of the van, putting my headphones in, and I feeling like I was going to be sick.
I actually don’t even fully remember how I had come out to my friends… By that time I had a girlfriend and I was like, “Hey, I’m gay, guys,” and everybody already kind of knew and was super supportive about it.
I was on a lot of calls with management and my family just being like, “I don’t know what to do.” At this point there was pressure to get the record done and be in the right headspace for it, but I couldn’t get out of it, and so there was a lot of pushing and pulling that eventually got me in there, and I started to figure everything out… Like I mentioned, I think the most important thing I learned through that was not to bottle up emotions and be vulnerable and be present when you do feel something and take ownership of what you’re feeling and not feel guilty for feeling negative emotions and just kind of honoring everything that you’re feeling, rather than just the positive and the happy.